‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’ as a horror film. It was just a matter of time. Hippos are the deadliest large land animal on the planet, and own the waters too. In countries where they are prevalent, attempting co-existence is already a horror movie. So, here it is, in all its glory, although let's be honest: the title is a lie. Hippos don’t kill out of hunger. They are herbivores. They kill out of hate.
The movie plays it straight with the premise. This is pretty much any ‘shark’ movie out there, with a search and replace function. There’s little here that hasn’t been seen before. Whether out of budget constraints or practicality, they understandably keep the hippo hidden for much of the runtime, with the kills a blur of thrashing water and briefly glimpsed tusks.
The kills themselves are tame and sanitized. There is plenty of blood pooling in the waters, but little else. The story is generic, but manages to introduce a little obscure American history that might cause someone to click open a Wikipedia tab. The characters are largely sympathetic, but barely sketched, with some characters almost a parody of existing survivor movie tropes. The grizzled hippo hunter has some absolutely hilarious lines delivered with such sincerity, it is almost worth the price of admission. Almost.
Hippos deserved better. A higher body count. More menace. More visibility. Instead, the hippo is handed a relatable motivation and even a conscience toward the survivors, when its nature is simply to finish the murder spree. Because they hate us. Maybe deservedly, if this is the best hippo horror movie we can offer.